Wii Cleanup Post
Dec. 21st, 2019 05:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chuckroIn 2017 I got a used Wii from a friend, and bought a bunch of games super-cheap from somebody on Talking Time; the system had never had enough to appeal to me in its heyday, but I was basically getting everything on it that interested me for less than $100, so why not?
Super Mario Galaxy - I’m wary of 3D platformer games to begin with, and I’m not wild about using the Wii controllers for action games. But I figured, hey, I’ll give it a try, because if anything can make me like this it’s going to be a Mario game. Nope! I hate the controls and died repeatedly in the tutorial. This game is not for me.
Playground - This is a minigame collection aimed at kids; unfortunately, ARR wasn’t terribly interested in learning to use motion controls or really in learning to play any of the games (tetherball, dodgeball, car racing and paper gliders). The only thing that really interested him was the marble/sticker collecting, and that got old fast because there’s nothing much to it. I generally found the games repetitive and hard on my wrists—this is cute to try for an hour, but it doesn’t hold my interest to play a lot of.
WarioWare: Smooth Moves - I’ve played several other WarioWare games; they’re always gimmicky, but this was especially so. The motion controls on the Wii are never as easy to use as you want them to be, which means that you’re fighting iffy controls, trying to remember the stances, and trying to figure out the microgames all at the same time. Which is a moderately fun high-pressure situation, but is still more stress than I necessarily want from a video game at this time in my life. (I also remember playing this at a party when it first came out; it’s hilarious but hobbled by the need to pass around a single Wiimote.)
Rampage: Total Destruction - I like the Rampage games on the whole, but I don’t think any of the serious “innovations” since the arcade era have been improvements. This one has pseudo-3D areas, mildly better graphics, and cartoon cutscenes…but it also has really wonky wiimote controls (they tried to incorporate motion controls in the moves and it really doesn’t work) and it’s harder to actually see what’s shooting you or what you’re picking up because the colors are less bright and distinct. The original Rampage has the purest, most perfect arcade game concept of just being a giant monster and smashing cities, and none of the sequels that tried to build on it have ever managed to capture the effortless enjoyment of that.
WiiPlay - This is more of a tech demo than an actual game (which isn’t surprising), and though I appreciated the call backs to the NES Duck Hunt and World Class Track Meet (though I’m surprised they didn’t actually make those two things some of the minigames), there isn’t actually much here. I played all the games, I tried to get ARR to try them, I was entertained for an hour, and that was enough.
Dragon Quest Swords: The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors - This isn’t really a Dragon Quest game—at least, not in the classic sense. The battles aren’t turn-based, the dungeons are effectively on rails, and there’s virtually no exploration component. That said, the addition of a DQ atmosphere and the ability to grind levels/equipment to what’s essentially the next generation of Duck Hunt works for me. (I love the use of old-school Dragon Quest sound effects for things like going up stairs, but I can see how that might be weird for a younger audience.) There are eight chapters, each with a dedicated dungeon area, and you get a score, rank and prize for clearing each area. You can cut a crawl short and return to town at any point, which means you can make up for a distinct lack of skill at swordfighting via tenacity. I may play more of this at some point.
Oh, and I have the Wii version of LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes, but again, the Wii controls are actively worse than any other version, so I’m more likely to play it on Steam with actual controllers instead.
Overall: My Wii backlog is now down to just a couple of big rpgs that I think deserve a fair shake and some real brainpower, but I think my decision to skip the system back in the day was the right one.
Super Mario Galaxy - I’m wary of 3D platformer games to begin with, and I’m not wild about using the Wii controllers for action games. But I figured, hey, I’ll give it a try, because if anything can make me like this it’s going to be a Mario game. Nope! I hate the controls and died repeatedly in the tutorial. This game is not for me.
Playground - This is a minigame collection aimed at kids; unfortunately, ARR wasn’t terribly interested in learning to use motion controls or really in learning to play any of the games (tetherball, dodgeball, car racing and paper gliders). The only thing that really interested him was the marble/sticker collecting, and that got old fast because there’s nothing much to it. I generally found the games repetitive and hard on my wrists—this is cute to try for an hour, but it doesn’t hold my interest to play a lot of.
WarioWare: Smooth Moves - I’ve played several other WarioWare games; they’re always gimmicky, but this was especially so. The motion controls on the Wii are never as easy to use as you want them to be, which means that you’re fighting iffy controls, trying to remember the stances, and trying to figure out the microgames all at the same time. Which is a moderately fun high-pressure situation, but is still more stress than I necessarily want from a video game at this time in my life. (I also remember playing this at a party when it first came out; it’s hilarious but hobbled by the need to pass around a single Wiimote.)
Rampage: Total Destruction - I like the Rampage games on the whole, but I don’t think any of the serious “innovations” since the arcade era have been improvements. This one has pseudo-3D areas, mildly better graphics, and cartoon cutscenes…but it also has really wonky wiimote controls (they tried to incorporate motion controls in the moves and it really doesn’t work) and it’s harder to actually see what’s shooting you or what you’re picking up because the colors are less bright and distinct. The original Rampage has the purest, most perfect arcade game concept of just being a giant monster and smashing cities, and none of the sequels that tried to build on it have ever managed to capture the effortless enjoyment of that.
WiiPlay - This is more of a tech demo than an actual game (which isn’t surprising), and though I appreciated the call backs to the NES Duck Hunt and World Class Track Meet (though I’m surprised they didn’t actually make those two things some of the minigames), there isn’t actually much here. I played all the games, I tried to get ARR to try them, I was entertained for an hour, and that was enough.
Dragon Quest Swords: The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors - This isn’t really a Dragon Quest game—at least, not in the classic sense. The battles aren’t turn-based, the dungeons are effectively on rails, and there’s virtually no exploration component. That said, the addition of a DQ atmosphere and the ability to grind levels/equipment to what’s essentially the next generation of Duck Hunt works for me. (I love the use of old-school Dragon Quest sound effects for things like going up stairs, but I can see how that might be weird for a younger audience.) There are eight chapters, each with a dedicated dungeon area, and you get a score, rank and prize for clearing each area. You can cut a crawl short and return to town at any point, which means you can make up for a distinct lack of skill at swordfighting via tenacity. I may play more of this at some point.
Oh, and I have the Wii version of LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes, but again, the Wii controls are actively worse than any other version, so I’m more likely to play it on Steam with actual controllers instead.
Overall: My Wii backlog is now down to just a couple of big rpgs that I think deserve a fair shake and some real brainpower, but I think my decision to skip the system back in the day was the right one.
