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In a peaceful world where humans and monsters live together, a sudden dark blast turns all of the monsters into feral berserkers. It’s up to the king’s two loyal bodyguards (and the king, and a local mechanical genius, and a number of trans-dimensional DQ visitors) to save the world.

A Dynasty Warriors-style beat-em-up featuring characters from Dragon Quest. Hyrule Warriors was definitely an influence here, as you get four heroes in each battle and can swap between them (but there’s no multiplayer—BOO). You gather equipment as per DQ tradition, gain levels and skill points, and collect “monster medals” that let you summon monster troops (though only for the battle you collect them in).

You pick up the Zoom spell to travel around the battlefield relatively early on, so that’s helpful. Also, in a break with convention, you only need to tag each Zoom point once ever—if you fight another battle on that map or return there to grind, the Zoom point remains tagged and you can warp to it whenever you want. Nice!

The monster troops and mostly important for leaving guarding specific areas (there are a lot of “protect the X” missions), because the rest of your party always follows you and can’t be set or left elsewhere. \ But the worst missions involve trying to keep some mobile idiot from getting killed. Thankfully, most of those are optional sidequests (it’s much easier to defend a non-moving wall), but the most frustrating escort quests involved dwarves who didn’t seem to understand that charging into new danger every time I cleared out the area around them was a BAD PLAN.

The weapons are almost all just straight upgrades; the vendortrash items monsters drop are used either to fulfill quests or in the alchemy pot to make accessories (and there’s no guesswork in that; the recipes are either random drops or you can exchange mini medals for them). There are actually far more armor “orbs” than you’d ever need, because everyone can use every orb and some that unlock at the same time are clearly superior to others. I’m not entirely sure why they have this much variety.

Oh, and did I mention I love the punny names for the monsters, skills and quests? Somebody has way too much fun naming things, and I appreciate it.

ARR actually watched a lot of this alongside me. He doesn’t have the fine motor control to play, but he likes to direct me and we’ve played many games of “Talking Dragon Quest Heroes” subsequently. Fortunately, I have a decent memory for almost every other game in the series, so coming up with other “quests” we can do while walking to the supermarket isn’t too tricky.

Overall: This is delightfully fun, if you enjoy pressing the attack button over and over and appreciate the general Dragon Quest aesthetic. Also, if ARR mentions a silly monster you’ve never heard of…it’s likely from here.

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