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Day 1: We awoke at an ungodly 3:30am on Monday morning, and called an Uber to get to the airport. (It didn't show, so we called a Lyft instead.) TSAPre actually worked like it was supposed to, so we had plenty of time to get on our 6:30 flight, which was on time and deposited us and our luggage in Toronto. This, in itself, felt like a minor miracle. We dropped our luggage at the hotel (a Holiday Inn Express, nothing fancy) and headed to the ferry to Centre Island.

Centre Island is home to an amusement park called Centreville and a hedge maze. Supposedly it has other things as well, but they were unnecessary. We did the maze, and when we saw the amusement park, opted for the unlimited-ride bracelets for ARR and Jethrien and made that the afternoon. ARR did almost every ride, several of them (the log flume, the frog bouncer) more than once. The "scary" barrel ride in the dark was the only one he didn't like. We got burgers and dogs and fries for lunch (and the wasps tried to get in on my frozen lemonade) and though we failed to get funnel cake, we did get candyfloss. Centerville has some issues with labeling, as the "Cider Mill" doesn't have cider and the "Old Smokehouse BBQ" sells no such things.

I got to spend a good chunk of the time that they were on rides reading my book, so being the sherpa wasn't so bad an arrangement. Also, frozen beverage, which always makes me happy.

We visited the Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner, a mid-range good-for-families Italian place where ARR revealed himself to be Starvin' Marvin. Then we went back to the hotel, took quick showers, and all went to bed.

Day 2: Tuesday was my day off. ARR was up early to open his travel gift (A Transformer named Ramulus who I had first mis-identified as Jawbreaker), we played for a bit and got a big hotel breakfast, and then Jethrien and ARR went to the Royal Ontario Museum, where they saw dinosaurs and giant marine life and Egyptian artifacts. I appreciated not having to leave the hotel (it was pouring out) and opted to spend the day reading, napping and playing video games. They got home around 4:30, with ARR thoroughly exhausted, so we had quiet time until dinner. Dinner was at Gyu-Kaku Japanese BBQ, a Japanese grill-it-yourself place, where the four-person feast was just barely manageable by the 5 of us. (Jethrien notes that ARR was still eating everything in sight.) When I originally wrote this, ARR was reading it over my shoulder rather than sleeping. He should sleep. Go to sleep, dear dude.

Day 3: This morning, I attempted to get ARR to sleep until 7. This was a dismal failure.

We did a phone-based scavenger hunt called Crazy Dash this morning, which devolved into a playground tour (there was another energetic five-year-old at the second playground, and the tour was abandoned in favor of playing space pirates). The crazy dash was fine, nothing amazing, a bunch of landmarks and trivia questions, but it was a fun diversion and excuse for a walk.

We got lunch at the mall food court, which meant ARR got a Happy Meal. He was unenthused with the Canadian tendency to put mustard on burgers.

I didn't get a nap, but I did get an hour of grown-up socializing with Ilana and Dan while ARR had quiet time after lunch. (Yes, they're the friends we specifically came here to see. Ilana did the tour with us and Dan joined us at lunchtime. We're seeing them for most of the week's events.)

We also enacted a brilliant plan of Jethrien's, and bought a cheap umbrella stroller. It cost less than the one-way baggage fees for bringing our own. We plan to use it as necessary for the rest of the week and then abandon it. It made the afternoon's trip to the Distillery District much more pleasant, as ARR is clearly running tired. We saw some art, bought some souvenirs, and then got fancy Mexican food at El Catrin. I'm counting my blackberry margarita as my third "frosty beverage" of the vacation.

Day 4: ARR's top ten (plus) at Ontario Science Centre
1. The ball-rolling kinetic sculpture
2. The water table in the KidSpark area
3. The ball-roller-coaster builder in the second KidSpark area
4. The Planetarium show
5. The "hot spot" projected-floor games
6. The energy show
7. The outdoor area with treehouses and slide
8. The terrace cafe, a great place for lunch and climbing on balls
9. The phone that told us all about coral
10. The castle climber in KidSpark
11. The aquarium video
12. The greenhouse rain forest
13. The tap water tasting
14. The mirror tunnel in KidSpark
15. The echo tunnel at the entrance

There were others (we were there for 6 hours!) but he confirms that that's all the highlights.

Day 5: We took a walk through St. Lawrence Market to get bread, cheese, jam, fruit and pastries for a picnic, then we took the subway to High Park to have said picnic. It was a bit of a hike and ARR was in Captain Whinypants mode, so that was a little frustrating, but we got to the amazing playground, had some food, and generally had a perfectly nice time. (We went to the most impressive playground in the city, and ARR spent half an hour at a picnic table outside of it playing Transformers. Of course.) We then walked through the zoo, which was a bit mixed-up with the animals not being in their proper places. We were impressed by the emu and its real-life dinosaur legs.

When we got back to the hotel, ARR actually took a nap, which explained a lot. We then went to The Keg (a steakhouse) for dinner. Then Jethrien went out with Ilana and Dan and ARR and I read about Transformers and went to bed.

Day 6: Today is food tour! Typically my favorite part of any vacation, this was a walking tour of Kensington Market, an open-air multi-ethnic area with a huge variety of cuisine. We had Jamaican beef patties in coco bread, Brazilian empanadas, bagels with smoked trout and horseradish jelly, indigenous Canadian fry bread, duck bacon, Tibetan momo and butter tea, and Swedish morning buns and iced rooibos tea. On the topic: Canadian bagels come from the same Eastern European tradition that spawned NY bagels, and though they use a honey-water bath to boil them rather than a brine (making them softer and sweeter), I will give them credit for making something I’d reasonably call a “bagel” from a tradition that actually cares about it. (This is distinguished from the bullshit rolls with holes most of America gets.)

From there, because of rain and general preference, we went to Snakes and Lattes, an awesome board game café. I got to try a foodie trivia game and a Princess Bride dueling game, but was moderately disappointed in my son who wanted to play Sorry and Life.

Day 7: We got up and tried to go to a playground, and when it turned out to be under renovation, Jethrien found another one nearby and we went there instead. Scott and Ashley joined us (and helped lug our bags and ARR up a hill) and then we met Ilana and Dan for dim sum. From there, to the airport and a generally uneventful trip home.

And which point my parents met us at our house, bearing spaghetti, meatballs and chocolate cake, and after dinner took Alex to their house for a week of “camp.” Which means this week is an actual vacation, despite having to go to work!

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