Transformers Review
Jul. 13th, 2009 10:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chuckroThings that were necessary: Giant robots that transform into cool things and beat each other up. Also, explosions. Suitably provided.
Things that were not necessary, but appreciated: A railgun. A Pretender. Brilliant upgrades/remakes of Soundwave, Ravage, Laserbeak, and the Constructicons. Aptly-named Megan Fox, and the unnamed college girl who rivals her in hotness. Jetstorm, up to and including his sacrifice to turn Optimus into Optimal Optimus.
Things that the movie could have done without, but didn't seriously harm it: It was too long; the college sequences were unnecessary even though I was rather amused by, "It was in my head, now it's on the walls, everything's good." For that matter, you probably could have cut an hour and a half out of the movie, put in five minutes of new exposition, and had a much better film.
Things that really shouldn't have even been filmed: The crude "humor"--FBI agent in a thong, the "balls" hanging off of Devastator, Momma Witwicky getting stoned, and most critically: The Twins. Why the hell did we need racist caricatures as the third-most-visible good guys in the story (after Optimus and Bumblebee). Why not intelligent, competant autobots like Ratchet and Wheeljack? Or a new "unsure newbie" character to replace the now-mature Bumblebee? Or even a well-meaning idiotic loose cannon who ISN'T an insulting sterotype, like Grimlock (presumably with a vehicle mode, of course)? And to add insult to injury, they are the only autobots who end up fighting Devastator. At least Rampage and Ravage had the dignity of being taken out by Bumblebee.
Things that pissed me off unnecessarily: The bit with the stupid bureaucrat who was bothering the army guys and eventually gets tossed out of the plane: A) Unnecessary. I applaud them for noting that our military wouldn't just stand back and let the autobots do the dirty work when decepticons attack and including them. But that entire subplot is unnecessary. B) When I hear a politician-analogue talking about negotiating with killer alien robots (which is obviously dumb), I know that half of America is translating that to "And THAT'S why negotiating with countries we could easily wipe off the map is stupid!"
Overall impression: Getting better and worse at the same time: They haven't fully solved the "too many squishy humans" problem of the first movie, and the stupid "funny" stuff got worse. I'd pay good money for a "best of fighting robots" DVD with only the scenes with robots from both films.
Things that were not necessary, but appreciated: A railgun. A Pretender. Brilliant upgrades/remakes of Soundwave, Ravage, Laserbeak, and the Constructicons. Aptly-named Megan Fox, and the unnamed college girl who rivals her in hotness. Jetstorm, up to and including his sacrifice to turn Optimus into Optimal Optimus.
Things that the movie could have done without, but didn't seriously harm it: It was too long; the college sequences were unnecessary even though I was rather amused by, "It was in my head, now it's on the walls, everything's good." For that matter, you probably could have cut an hour and a half out of the movie, put in five minutes of new exposition, and had a much better film.
Things that really shouldn't have even been filmed: The crude "humor"--FBI agent in a thong, the "balls" hanging off of Devastator, Momma Witwicky getting stoned, and most critically: The Twins. Why the hell did we need racist caricatures as the third-most-visible good guys in the story (after Optimus and Bumblebee). Why not intelligent, competant autobots like Ratchet and Wheeljack? Or a new "unsure newbie" character to replace the now-mature Bumblebee? Or even a well-meaning idiotic loose cannon who ISN'T an insulting sterotype, like Grimlock (presumably with a vehicle mode, of course)? And to add insult to injury, they are the only autobots who end up fighting Devastator. At least Rampage and Ravage had the dignity of being taken out by Bumblebee.
Things that pissed me off unnecessarily: The bit with the stupid bureaucrat who was bothering the army guys and eventually gets tossed out of the plane: A) Unnecessary. I applaud them for noting that our military wouldn't just stand back and let the autobots do the dirty work when decepticons attack and including them. But that entire subplot is unnecessary. B) When I hear a politician-analogue talking about negotiating with killer alien robots (which is obviously dumb), I know that half of America is translating that to "And THAT'S why negotiating with countries we could easily wipe off the map is stupid!"
Overall impression: Getting better and worse at the same time: They haven't fully solved the "too many squishy humans" problem of the first movie, and the stupid "funny" stuff got worse. I'd pay good money for a "best of fighting robots" DVD with only the scenes with robots from both films.
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Date: 2009-07-13 03:23 pm (UTC)Also, yes, too many damn squishy humans. As for that best of trailer, you have seen this, I hope:
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Date: 2009-07-13 09:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-14 04:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-14 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-14 04:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-14 04:32 pm (UTC)