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Jethrien passed on an article and forum thread, both on the topic of amusing things parents say to their children.

From The Atlantic, Lamentations of the Father
"Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, nor against any building; nor eat sand. Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape?

From the New York Times, Parents Say the Darnedest Things
"Lipstick doesn't belong on your eye. If it did they would call it eyestick."
(I normally avoid the comments sections of major publications; they're not well-moderated and usually only slightly above the level of Youtube comments. This article, however, is worth reading the comments on.)
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