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It occurred to me during a recent on car trip that I had some follow-ups to my original Song Headcanons post.

Jethrien and I were talking about "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz. She thought the line, "Even if the skies get rough," was a dumb mixed metaphor until I pointed out that the song could be a romance between two sky pirates. Which really works, don't you think?

(This started a longer discussion about which other songs in my mix playlist could be used in "Sky Pirates: The Musical. "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Öyster Cult was another one, despite clearly "really" being about sex.)

Though the various band members and the songwriter have given conflicting stories over the years, you'll never convince me that "867-5309/Jenny" by Tommy Tutone is anything but a comedy song. I mean, come on, he's desperately pining over a girl who he's never met and knows literally nothing about besides seeing her number written on a bathroom wall. That's satire of the standard "pining over an unobtainable girl" song if ever I've heard it.

I'm not sure it's actually in dispute, but ;"Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns N' Roses isn't actually about a jungle (or even an urban jungle) at all, right? The "jungle" in question is the dude's pubes, and he's proposing totally nasty sex. (I mean, seriously, "Feel my, my, my serpentine"?)

On a related note, I'll argue that ;"Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses is, in fact, about the singer's daughter.

Jethrien got me the new Meat Loaf album, and it includes a new mega-song called "Going All The Way Is Just The Start (A Song In 6 Movements)". While there are probably other interpretations, I'm putting it under my usual umbrella of every song Jim Steinman has ever written, that it takes place between two teenagers in the back seat of a parked car. (Seriously, think of any Meat Loaf / Steinman song ever, and tell me that interpretation doesn't work.)

And we came to the realization that "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard and "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC are essentially the same song, just the "before" and "after" versions of it.
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Captain America and Iron Man square off in a more-developed fight than Superman vs. Batman, and with more sidekicks and running plots involved. I wasn’t quite as enamored with this as the rest of the internet—though I did enjoy it—so here’s your warning about all my commentary behind the cut. I will be critical about the movie.

Read more... )

Overall: Superheroes punched each other and there were lots of explosions. I had fun.
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There are several songs that I enjoy on a musical level, but the messages they present kinda piss me off. So I have my own interpretation of what’s going on. (This is to be distinguished from, say, TMBG or REM songs where I have a host of interpretations, but so does everyone else because the lyrics are intended to be incomprehensible.)

I was in the shower the other day when “Fix You” by Coldplay (an acappella cover, natch) came on my Pandora station and I realized how to make it work. See, there’s a crappy message in the song because, as a general rule, trying to “fix” someone never works and oftentimes sets up a really terrible relationship dynamic. Romanticizing trying to emotionally rescue someone is a terrible idea. Unless…what if the singer is taking to himself in the mirror? “I’m depressed, I’m messed up, I feel my life sucks. But I’m going to try to fix myself.” That works!

I’ve actually had a similar headcanon for “Haven't Met You Yet” by Michael Bublé for some time. It’s another case that if you look at it as someone who wants to set up a romantic relationship, they want to set up a horribly unbalanced and unhealthy relationship where he “gives so much more than he gets.” But especially when you take his repeated use of the appellation “kid,” doesn’t the song work better if he’s looking forward to being a father? Singing to a child who hasn’t yet been conceived / born?*

I’ve actually had it in my head since college that “What a Good Boy” by Barenaked Ladies is about being trans or genderqueer and struggling with it. The “chains” of being assigned a boy at birth and what that means in their life. (Knowing BNL, it’s likely “really” just about expectations on someone suffering from chronic depression, because all of their songs are peppy, chirpy numbers about chronic depression.)

It’s much more of a stretch, but I occasionally change the chorus of "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars to “’Cause you’re amazing / In your flying car.” Because the song is fine how it is, perhaps a bit trite and twee, but isn’t it just so much more fun if the whole world is actually stopping and staring at this woman because she’s amazing in her flying car?

* This theory was admittedly inspired by the Milk Carton Kids song “Charlie,” an ode to an unborn daughter who the singer admits, “Doesn’t yet have a due date…or a mother.”
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“How to Lose Weight in 4 Easy Steps”

This doesn’t go in the direction you expect, and it’s glorious.

Also, I think it’s actually a fairly accurate depiction of what it takes to lose 80 pounds in a year.
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“It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.

You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything.”

Procrastination Is Not Laziness | Thought Catalog

Airspaniel responds to this here.

I think the important thing to remember—which Airspaniel is kind of getting at—is that knowing why you behave in a certain way is not meant to provide an excuse for you to keep behaving in that way. The purpose of knowing the root issue behind something is so that you can tackle that root issue and, in doing so, mitigate or eliminate the problematic behavior.

If you procrastinate because you fear failure, then you need to start viewing “missing a deadline and screwing your coworkers” as a greater failure than “doing a sub-standard job”. If you procrastinate because you feel your work is pointless, then you either need to find different work, convince your boss that the work is pointless, and/or find a point (like a continued paycheck) that you can assign to it.

If you read something that gives you an in-depth understanding of your problem and your reaction is, “Oh, it’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I’m a perfectionist. So I don’t need to change at all,” then you’re either a dumbass or a jerk. The problem is still a problem and still needs to be solved.

Or, as a commonly-used Brooklyn 99 reaction gif goes, “Cool motive! Still murder.”


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